Fathers' Day 2017 reflections

Greetings to my loyal blog readers as well as to those who are stumbling across my blog or this post for the first time. Today I am particularly motivated to post because of receiving encouragement both from secular readings and a sermon to embrace who I am and to share. Today's post is a reflection that also celebrates fathers and encourages fathers to embrace and share their emotions and even the emotional challenges they face as they father in the 21st century.

Going to church on June 17, 2017 with my children was indeed an emotional experience, as I woke up with the accuser of brethren attacking me for my fertility and trying to persuade me to sterilize. My economic and career struggles were raised before me, and the only defense I had was that one day I would see the fruit of all the struggles, and if not in this life, in the life to come. The accuser of the brethren then attacked my faith by telling me that Jesus has not returned yet and that he even declared that some of his disciples would not taste death until he returned (Matthew 16:28). This, the accuser said, did not come to pass as all the known disciples of Jesus at the time have perished and the world has gone on since. In fact, the accuser then said, by the scriptures, God said we know if a prophet is true if what he foretells comes to pass (Deuteronomy 18:22). This would then make Jesus a false prophet. In silence, I endured the accuser's torment with my only defense being that I did not know what was referred to when Jesus said he would come into his kingdom in that verse.

When I arrived, after taking my four children on the bus, I thought to myself how the culture and era discouraged parents from having children and rather encouraged them to focus on their careers or vocation. Society speaks saying that  "Thou shalt have children but only if you have 2 and no more and only if you have the resources and career to support them. Anything outside of this is forbidden." Further, society invokes another law that "Thous shalt use intrusive technologies and man-made devices to curtail your fertility so that you can dive down into your career and supply your family with abundant material things and meet their economic wants".

Twenty-first century's culture encourages men and fathers to give more to their jobs than they do to their families. Especially in Jamaican culture, where even the place where I work does not have paternity leave. But as I meditate on the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures, I realize that God wants me as a father to play more than just an economic role. God wants me to play a teaching and educational role, supplying my children with home education and traditions where I transmit my values, knowledge, and experiences to them. A case in point is Solomon, who I feel had a lot of his wisdom coming from what his father, David, passed on to him and not just from his answered prayer. When I read the book of Proverbs I hear Solomon telling me to pay careful attention to fatherly instruction (Proverbs 1:8). Which I somehow feel that it is David's instruction to Solomon that guided him in making early decisions (1 Kings 2) before the wise decision to ask God for wisdom later on (1 Kings 3).

As I listened to the sermon, Elder Cameron Munro, who served as God's mouthpiece, got me to reflect on instances where Jesus stated and expressed how he felt. The message to me was clear. Be real about my predicament. It is okay for me as a father and a man to state how I feel. There are times and seasons for me as a father to be emotional, cry, embrace my children and communicate my emotions to them. Jesus did this and modeled this for us. He wept and expressed his emotions. He even told people when he was thirsty and needed a drink (despite participating in the creation, according to Colossians 1:15-16, and being able to work miracles including turning water into wine). Imagine, Jesus the miracle worker, made his need for water known to human beings? 

Elder Munro stated that Jesus put on humanity so that we do not have to put on pretense. We don't always, as men or fathers, need to pretend that we are tough and that we have everything under control. But we can be honest when we are going through difficulties and share this with others around us including our children.

Fatherly Reflection

I take a pause in my studies of immigration in order to write on the important topic of fatherhood. The weekend for me has been a time of reflection on my father, due to his birth day being in this month, as well as Father's day also approaching. Such meditation has been fruitful in conceiving revelation from the L-RD based on the verses in Proverbs chapter 4.

Solomon admits in the early verses of the chapter that he was taught by his father David (Proverbs 4:3-4), who taught him primarily to value and acquire wisdom (Proverbs 4:5,7). Solomon in turn valued this lesson so much that later when G-d appeared to him  and asked him what he desired for a gift (2 Chronicles 1:7; 1 Kings 3:5.htm), Solomon could only but remember his father's words and advice that wisdom was the principal acquisition (Proverbs 4:7) that would bring everything else . As such, Solomon made his request for wisdom (2 Chronicles 1:10).

Solomon's story demonstrates how important it is that as fathers, we teach our children so that they will grow up knowing how to make wise choices (and the best choices) in life. It is a parent's duty (and especially a father) to teach his children from his own life experiences about the world that they live in and inhabit, and what makes for success in life.

Can you imagine David, who was a failed father of many children, made up for his entire bad parenting with Solomon his last child? After seeing what tragedies resulted from his bad choices and personal failures with his older children, David took parenting his last child gotten from adultery very seriously. David used where he had failed and had many regrets and his own foolish mistakes in the past that he wanted to make amends and correct to teach and guide his youngest child. Hence David advised  Solomon and gave him teachings that would make Solomon learn from his father's mistakes and experiences, and avoid those same mistakes and pitfalls in life.

All father's should, like David, give unto their children pearls of wisdom and instruction about how the world works and how best to survive in it. Our children must know what pitfalls to avoid and what will ruin them and prevent them from attaining their desires, happiness and goals from our own teaching and guidance that we must give them. It is when we do such an investment in our children, that they will make wise choices like Solomon, and become successful and respectable citizens of the earth.

Faith and pleasing the Father

As I have received the opportunity to be a parent and father to a girl of seventeen months, each week, G-d instructs me through her. Last week and this week G-d impressed upon me how eager my daughter is to please me. She trusts me a lot and, when I encourage her to do new things, she is eager to do it, fighting against her own fears of failure and the unknown.

For instance, I remember when I took her to the park and allowed her to climb on the slide. When she was seated at the top, I went to the bottom of the slide and encouraged her to push off. She was fearful. Even though she saw other children sliding, she had fear. However, my daughter closed her eyes and pushed off after my encouragement and came sliding down to me. This was her first time, and she did enjoy it.

Thus I learnt more about the statement in Hebrews that state that without faith it is impossible to please G-d (Heb 11:6). My daughter could only do what I expect her to do if she trusted me. So it is with G-d. He knows exactly what our capacity is. He knows for what purpose he created us, what he has designed us to do and what we can bear. We fail to live up to his expectations because we doubt his word and what we can do despite what G-d tells us.

My daughter does new things because she trusts her daddy. She believes in my expectations for her. She believes that if Daddy says she can do it, then she can.

Oh that we would have such a trusting faith in our Heavenly Father. No wonder Jesus said "Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3 King James Version).